chapter two

"There is no security in this world, only opportunity."
-Douglass McArthur

Do you ever get the feeling that things are beginning to turn over? It can be something as subtle as finally have a good day to something as big as seeing a major change in your life. Recently, I feel that I'm coming to the end of a huge chapter in my life. I guess you could entitle it "Chapter 1", but whatever it was, I'm pretty sure it's almost wrapping up. Out of the many things that this chapter of my life has taught me, the most important by far is to never say something can't happen, because anything can happen.

Tuesday I worked until 730 which completed another long string of days without a day off. After playing poker for awhile, I went to eat n park a little bit later on with maura. It was a good time because we got to talk about how messed up this summer has been and how funny our waitress who barely spoke english was. All in all, it was a good night.

Wednesday I woke up late and flew right down to meet sarah for lunch. As I expected, things were awkward at first. I think once we broke the ice once again though, I realized how much I had overreacted to her not picking up my call one night. Admittedly, I do tend to overreact sometimes, but I still don't feel that was the crux of the problem. When it all comes down to it, we had been drifting apart for a month or so before that and I didn't want to have to deal with that at the time. In a way, I feel that giving up this time might have actually been the right decision, but it's not the outcome that kills me the most. It's the what ifs that keep you up at night thinking about how things could have been. Eventually though, you have to just accept that things went down as they did and there's no changing that now. It's sad that some things have to end the way they do, but when she went left and I went right as we exited, I knew that the chances of us see each other again were slim.

Thursday was my second day off in a row, and after a long string of having worked, I got the itch to golf. Immekus, gerner, and myself decided to make an afternoon tee time at seven springs which is nice because it's always good to see a course other than south park. Despite the fact that I opened with a pathetic looking 8 and had a 10 on a par 5, I rallied on the back 9 and shot a 99. The course is definitely tougher than south park, and because we were gambling we were playing no mulligans and play it as it lies. My great back nine helped me to erase some of the accrued debt from red/black with immekus the night before. If you've ever played red/black before, you know how hard it is to go down 30 bets to another guy! We had triples if the flop was all red or black, and quintuples if the whole board was red or black. I got it down to about 15 bets by the end of the night as I had a nice run, but I still had work to do on the golf course the next day. I ended up going +1 on greenies and I gave immekus 10 and beat him by 13. All in all, it was a fun time golfing.

Today, I worked from 12-5, came home, changed, and went down to the waterfront. I stopped into best buy first to check out laptops(as I may try to get one for school) before meeting mark, dave, christina, and mandi at fuddruckers for food. As always, we had a really good time bullshitting and such. Afterwards, we walked around looking for stuff for our apartments, but never really bought anything. At about 10:30, we all decided to call it a night and resume the fun times in about three weeks when we move in.

As I drove down streets run road which the windows down and the very humid breeze blowing against my face, I felt the wheels move like they never had before. The movement was a different type of movement because it was more than transportation of one place to another. The movement was leading me in a new direction, and I finally felt like I had control. All of a sudden, I realized why the wheel is still the most important invention of all time. Not only is it useful on almost every form of transportation that we have, but the shape of the circle is the ultimate symbol of change. You can call me crazy, but I think that I finally figured it out, and it's all so simple now. I don't want to forget about this chapter of my life. For the first 19 years, 10 months, and 2 days of my life, I have been a pittsburgher. It's who I am. It's who I always will be. I have a great deal of pride to have been associated with this city. But the second chapter of my life is calling me. It's time to answer that call.

I know that I've used this poem rather recently, but it's worth repeating. Enjoy

I Dream It Is Afternoon When I Return to Delhi
By: Agha Shahid Ali

At Purana Qila I am alone, waiting
for the bus to Daryaganj. I see it coming,
but my hands are empty.
"Jump on, jump on," someone shouts,
"I've saved this chang for you
for years. Look!"
A hand opens, full of silver rupees.
"Jump on, jump on." The voice doesn't stop.
There's no one I know. A policeman,
handcuffs silver in his hands,
asks for my ticket.

I jump off the running bus,
sweat pouring from my hair.
I run past the Doll Museum, past
headlines on the Times of India
building, PRISONERS BLINDED IN A BIHAR
JAIL, HARIJAN VILLAGES BURNED BY LANDLORDS.
Panting, I stop in Daryaganj,
outside Golcha Cinema.

Sunil is there, lighting
a cigarette, smiling. I say,
"It must be ten years, you haven't changed,
it was your voice on the bus!"
He says, "The film is about to begin,
I've bought an extra ticket for you,"
and we rush inside:

Anarkali is being led away,
her earrings lying on the marble floor.
Any moment she'll be buried alive.
"But this is the end," I turn
toward Sunil. He is nowhere.
The usher taps my shoulder, says
my ticket is ten years old.

Once again my hands are empty.
I am waiting, alone, at Purana Qila.
Bus after empty bus is not stopping
Suddenly, beggar women with children
are everywhere, offering
me money, weeping for me.



mh