short greetings

It's Christmas Day, so let me begin with a Merry Christmas to everyone. This is going to be short and sweet because I'm planning on crashing and getting some rest soon, but I was doing some excavating today and I found this. It brought back memories of when I was writing poetry on almost a daily basis and it felt good to sift through some of those old works again. Perhaps I'll get back to writing again some day, but that wouldn't be for some time to come.

Until next time,

mh

spatial relations

After three days of being back in Pittsburgh, I'm ready to leave again. Not so much in the sense that I hate everything that is Pittsburgh, but more that there is absolutely nothing to do here. Anytime I come back it's the same people, same enviornment, same activities. I need variation in life to keep my curiosity and vivacity in check. On the other hand, driving through the streets of South Baldwin reminds me of my childhood so much that it's something that I need to refresh myself with every once in awhile.

While looking through photo albums over Thanksgiving break, I came across a photo that struck me as particularly interesting. It was the summer of 1992, and we had moved into our first house. I was standing at the front door with a plate of potato salad and a wide grin. Before that summer, we had moved from apartment to apartment until we were finally able to settle on a one story ranch in South Baldwin. Upon first moving in, I vaguely recall thinking to myself that we had so much space in the house that we would never be able to find each other(this is a legitimate concern for a four year old). Most of our childhood before the age of ten are brief flashes of memories and occasional words, smells, and sights that bring us back to something we may have forgotten. We spent ten years in that house, and as I drove by it today I began to posture why I was always so damn happy when we were there.

To jump to an obvious conclusion, I was a child. And all children are smiling and having fun because they aren't burdened by things that we consider significant. If there's one thing you should take from childhood, it's not to let things that really, really don't matter affect you the way that they do when you grow up. However, upon further mental inquiry, I realized that this was not the only reason that I was always happy. It turns out the reason was rather simple. At the time, we lived in a house that is roughly half the size of the one that we live in right now. Quite simply, if there was a problem, there was nowhere to run to. It had to shared. It had to be resolved. Too often in life we seperate ourselves spatially from someone if we have a problem, and that tends to be the worst thing for it. While it is occasionally helpful to talk to someone about it, the best way to ameliorate any situation is to go to the source. Not only this, but success was shared as well. I would never consider my family poor, but there are times that I realize now that our lives were made much....well something with money. We would spend every summer night doing things like catching baseball or chasing after lightning bugs or seeing how fast we could run through the Section 8 housing in my backyard to get to Leland Field. Yet when we moved from the close quarters of the ranch to the two story home we live in now, that simplicity seemed to be compromised. Undoubtedly, some space between people is necessary. To always be in each other's business is annoying and truthfully somewhat frightening to me. Yet we must remember that physical space creates untold rifts between people. Slowly but surely, extra space creates silence, and eventually all we hear are echoes of how things used to be.

Until next time,

mh

friends

"Happiness only good when shared."

-Emile Hirsch, Into the Wild


It is only now as I sit in a desolate apartment on the last Friday of the semester alone does this simple quote about happiness make sense. The alone time that I have now has allowed me to reflect on all the things that went on during this semester. Despite the fact that I am extremely tired on the count of studying for almost 70 hours this past week for finals, I have found some brainpower to write what will hopefully be a short, yet meaningful post.

As this semester began, I laid on extremely shaky ground. This summer had been one spent mainly hanging out with people that I had not spent a lot of time with in the past(minus bradburn). With my best friend Mike Nayhouse away for all but two weeks of the summer, I was forced to make new friends. I succeeded for the most part and had an amazing time hanging out in Pittsburgh, Ocean City for a week, and Canada for a weekend. However, when I came back to school, I was faced with the prospect of having two new roommates, having two old roommates living in different places, no longer having a girlfriend, and being generally unsure about where I stood school wise. Upon arriving here, I took it upon myself to hang out with Steve and Joey from Apartment 246 during the week that nobody was up here before classes started. A new roommate of mine, Nate, joined us several times and I quickly learned that despite the fact that it was hard to see old roommates leave, change wasn't as bad as I had expected it to be. The first month went almost according to last year: classes during the week and house or frat parties on the weekend. Then something funny happened: I turned 21. The first night that I legally went out was a Thursday at The Saloon. It ended up being an infamous night that I won't soon forgot as almost all the people at Penn State that were close to me at the time were able to make it out. The weekend continued on from there when myself, Mark, Christina(who wasn't able to make it out the night before), PJ, and Kim went back to The Saloon for round two. After an epic night, the weekend culminated with my birthday party which saw dancing on top of tables, passing out under chairs, and other general fun that accompanies a party at 334. In the following weeks, I began to get to know Kim better. I was introduced to her last year when Dave and I attended a party at her old apartment. After going to the bars several times with her after turning 21 I realized that she was a laid back person that was about having fun and keeping people smiling. From there, a couple more weeks passed until I found a solid group of people to go out with on a regular basis. It turns out that group ended up being myself, Kim, Steve, and Kristin. To describe the four of us together is like trying to describe a tornado: a lot of energy and you're never sure exactly where it's going to hit or what the damage will be like. Throughout the semester, we survived seeing exes at bars, pieces of glass in feet, and outright lies told about all of us at one point or another. More importantly though, we survived these things together. Not to discount the importance of my relationship with my family, my friends in Pittsburgh, or my other friends at Penn State, but I will forever associate this semester with the four of us. Each of us brought a different piece of positive attitude that contributed to the whole. Steve was always the person to keep a smile on his face no matter what and always tell you exactly what was on his mind. Kim was always quick to tell stories about how much she loved her kindergarten class and how she would "go Jersey on your ass" if you messed with her. Her humorous sarcasm often carried the conversation and often kept us laughing throughout the night. Kristin was always the one to go out and push all of us to spend our time together in the best fashion. Only once this semester can I remember seeing Kristin without a smile on her face. And me, well I fit in somewhere. I like to think that my awkward dancing and stories about anything and everything helped to lighten the mood as well. I doubt that it is the last time that all of us will be together(considering Kristin and Steve are dating now which is completely awesome for both of them!), but I felt the need to pay homage to our going out group. The other cast of characters that came out with us throughout the semester I have talked about in previous blogs, but I would be amiss to not mention them. Matt Eisel is one of my best friends in the world and would literally do anything for me. He pushes himself to live on the edge every day yet has a way of relating to everyone else that has helped all of us(myself included) grow in character. Ronald Koenig is my other new roommate and there are plenty of good things I can say about the man, yet what strikes me most about Ronald is how much he would do anything for his friends. You can't go wrong with a man like that on your side. Finally, the relationships with the friends I had from Penn State McKeesport have almost uniformely grown stronger throughout the three semesters we have been up here together. I still remember us talking about the Beer Pong Constitution in Winchester's class sophmore year. Despite the fact we never wrote one, we had plenty of other memorable moments and quotes that we will tell about for years to come.

Above all, this semester has taught me that happiness is achieved on a whole new level when it can be shared with a group of close friends. To accept the choices that you have made in life and the person that you are is a form of internal happiness that is hard to match. Yet this pales in comparison to the happiness that you get from being with a group of people or person that are/is imporant to you. Unfortunately, it isn't until the clicking of the keys echo off the walls of a lonely apartment that I realize the friends I have are truly amazing people(mainly for associating with me). I will miss all of my friends that are graduating this semester and those that are going elsewhere to student teach. To the rest of you that will be coming back next semester, I hope that you're ready to do it again. To end with a famous quote, "Lately it occurs to me/ What a long, strange trip it's been."



mh

it's nine o clock on a saturday

In late August of 2007, three shot glasses clinked together. The harsh scent of Puerto Rican rum proliferated throughout the air as we threw back our first drink. We had just gone sailing with the Captain for the first time. Earlier that day, two years of anticipation had finally culminated with four Pittsburgh kids making the three hour trip east to State College to embrace our home for the next few years.

When we first stepped into the apartment(after walking all the way across the complex and up three flights of stairs), we relished the fresh scent of nothingness. There was no history for any of us here. All at once, all that had become of our past lives was instantly erased as the four of us were thrown together in a foreign place, left only with memories and lessons from yesteryear and each other to get us through. To me, the first day felt like a vacation. I was still sunburned from a week at the beach and the feelings of relaxation and escape reverberated from Ocean City up to State College.

After the last of the parents left and we had eaten enough free food to feed eight of us, we decided that a celebration was in order. The only problem was that we knew absolutely nobody up here. Thankfully, Dave made a call and was able to locate a high school friend(From here on out i won't use actual names, I'll just refer to the three girls as a, b, and c) and we made plans to hang out at our apartment. The next problem was that nobody knew where anything was. After almost an hour of searching, Dave and I left and were able to pick them up on a street that I would later refer to as "Atherton". Introductions followed. A and B were pittsburgh girls, but C was from Minnesota.

"You're from Minnesota? I need to look at my map when I get home to remember where Minnesota is! What the hell are you doing in Pennsylvania by the way?" I remarked.

"I love Penn State" was all she could muster with a smile that could have made the devil change his ways.

I didn't know it at the time, but that smile would get me into a world of trouble later on in the year. That's a story for another day though.

We finally arrived back at the apartment and Mark, our fourth roommate, had taken off to spend time with his girlfriend Christina. That left six virtual strangers with nothing but PilotWings on N64 to play and a half of bottle of Captain Morgan to give somebody the courage to do something. Finally, after convincing C that she needed to take a shot to loosen up, the six of us clinked together shot glasses and drowned our childhoods and uneasy nerves away. After that, conversation flowed freely. We were so excited we found that we didn't even need to turn on the TV to keep ourselves entertained. There was this amazing sense of new excitement mixed with youthful innocence that encapsulated all of us that night. We stayed up late simply talking about what we were going to do that year until A and B disappeared into Eisel's room for the night. I had passed out on the couch and was awoken by laughter from dave and C as they lied on the floor talking and making the most of the night. I quietly slipped into bed with expectations of great things to come.

And they did. Sort of. The first semester seemed to breeze by as we lived every day away from home like it was our last. Then, in the second semester, after returning home from a trip to Syracuse that can most aptly be described as insanity, things changed. Eisel and Mark had serious girlfriends, Dave and I got consumed in what turned out to be incredibly petty drama, and worst of all was that feeling of exuberance died. Even now, the excitement I feel before going out on a weekend or even getting up in the morning is much more subdued than it once was. In the end though, nothing gold can stay. The exciting can only stay the exciting for so long before it's time to settle into a more peaceful sort of happiness; and as the end of the Penn State experience draws to a sorrowful close for some of my closest friends, I encourage you all to remember. Remember that the faces and places have changed, but the feelings never will.



Until next time,

mh

books and books and books and books

First, I'd like to prefact this post by thanking kim for mentioning me in her last post about books. The idea of the post was to talk about what books you're reading and talk about some of your favorites. So here goes

Books I'm Reading(or just finished reading):
1. Alan Greenspan: The Age of Turbulence - I'll spare everyone the boring economics that Greenspan goes into this book, but essentially he talks about how in both life and economics we learn the most when we discover ourselves in situations we haven't been in before.
2. Jordan Belfort: The Wolf of Wall Street - On the outside, the book looks like a snore for anyone not interested in the world of the stock market. However, Jordan Belfort takes us on the ride of a lifetime as he depicts his meteoric rise to superstardom and the insane rituals that come along with being one of the wealthiest and most powerful men in New York during the 1990's.

My Favorite Books:
1. Ayn Rand: Atlas Shrugged - Don't let the almost eleven hundred pages intimidate you as this is one of the most important works of the 20th century. Rand's Objectivist theory will at the very least give you a fresh perspective on money and how innovation and talent drive the world. I read this in between my freshman and sophmore year of college for a scholarship essay and it opened up a whole new world of thinking for me.
2. S.E. Hinton: The Outsiders - Even though I read this book in ninth grade, the lessons about youth and loyalty have stuck with me to this day. It's a short simple read that everyone should pick up once in their life.
3. Larry Phillips: Zen and the Art of Poker - This book was recommended to me by a friend and after reading it I feel that I began to understand some of the concepts of Zen Buddhism. The book stresses relaxation, patience, and ability to adjust to circumstances as the most important aspects that one can apply to not only poker, but life in general to increase happiness.
4. Jonathan Swift: Gulliver's Travels - Set in four distinct, highly different worlds, this satire traces the adventures of a British sea captain Lemuel Gulliver. I loved this book particularly because it introduced me to the art of satire and how it can be powerful if one wants to send a message indirectly.
5. Oscar Wilde: The Importance of Being Earnest - Definitely the funniest play that i ever read in school. Wilde showed me that adding humor to a play can make it from borderline falling asleep material to incredibly entertaining.

That's just a short list of some of my favorite books that I've read. I can honestly say that I attribute my success in every subject except math to the fact that I was an avid reader as a child and continue to be to this day. The best advice that I could give to any young person is to read anything that you have an interest in. As a college student, I've found that most of my required reading is extremely technical so the pleasure has gone from it in a way. However, I've always made time to lay in bed, relax, and devour a good book.


Until next time,

mh