my trip back home and our point of no return

I have wanted to write about several things that have been on my mind for awhile, but only now as I'm scurrying to review my biology material that I will never more than memorize for tomorrow do I find the time to sit down and type out a new entry.

First, I went home this weekend to Pittsburgh for the second time this semester(the other being for the Super Bowl). I hadn't planned on coming home more than once before spring break, but the Super Bowl is an extenuating circumstance and this last weekend was more to see friends and get away from State College. After a night out on Friday and a dinner with a good friend on Saturday, I realized how much I missed the place. I miss it for a few reasons. First, the people in Pittsburgh are different than people up here. PSU is a melting pot for people from Maryland, Pittsburgh, Philly, New Jersey, New York, and everywhere in between. And the supposed "we think we're better than you" chain seems to run from east to west until it stops in State College, PA. Everywhere you go up here you get this incredibly annoying sense of unbridled arrogance when you tell people that you're from Pittsburgh. Their first thoughts are, people from Pittsburgh are obviously less intelligent than I am. I mean, come on, I was born in New York/New Jersey/Philadelphia, so it is in my DNA that I am smarter, funnier, and most importantly, cooler than them. It isn't until you leave your general metropolitain area that you realize that their are varied attitudes towards life. Growing up there were always kids from certain neighborhoods that would look down on you because they had more money, but never before did I meet people from a geographic region that all thought they were actually inherently better than me. Personally, I feel that confidence is one of the most important traits you can have or acquire. You have to think that you're good at what you do or you'll never convince others of it; but when confidence spills over into arrogance, I think that your head begins getting too inflated for your own good and eventually you will be knocked back down into reality with the rest of us. Okay, enough about that. I was actually just trying to say that I had a really good time in Pittsburgh hanging out with people whose company I greatly enjoy. So enough said.

Next, I would like to address another issue that I have been dealing with recently. Not too long ago, I wrote a post about several really good friends I have met up here. As a matter of fact, the four of us used to hang out all the time for all of last semester and a portion of this semester. Then, something happened. Something that I will not discuss here, but rest assured, really isn't that big of a deal given the context of other things that could have happened. It really just boiled down to a comment that was made that should not have been and one that was apologized for several times over. However, that could have been the end of it, but a certain person allowed the situation to escalate, and took steps to worsen the original commentor's time out with the group and other friends in general. Now, we have reached or almost reached a point of no return which never had to be reached. All could have been resolved easily, and we could have all gone back to being just friends, but that seems highly unlikely at this point. I guess that's the thing about a group of friends that is reliant as much on relationships instead of friendships. When one portion of the group fails, it goes back to being individual friendships instead of having fun with the group. That's all for now.

Until next time,

mh

my religion

For the first time in my life, last Friday, I attended a fellowship group. I didn't actually attend it. I was sort of dragged there by a friend on the way to the bar. As much of a coincidence as that was, it ended up being an Asian American Christian Fellowship. I don't know about you, but where else would one want to spend a Friday evening? Don't get me wrong, I went to Lutheran Sunday School for ten years, frequently attended church, and hell, I'll say it, I even got involved with the youth group for awhile. But never had I ever non willingly came to a place where people gathered on their own accord to worship God. What was advertised to be "no more than 30 minutes" ended up taking about 2 hours. It wouldn't have been such a problem if the specials at Penn State bars started later, but unfortunately they begin at 10.

Anyways, yesterday in French class, we had a review before our three part exam the rest of the week. As a part of the review, we would pair up and go to the chalkboard in pairs. Since my usual partner was not there that day, I got paired with the girl that usually sits next to him. I don't know about you, but when you become friends with a couple of people in the class, I tend to not pay attention to who else is in the class. Unforunately, this character flaw reared its ugly head as I looked up to find I was partnered with the girl who was the lead singer at the Fellowship. We locked eyes at the same time and realized where we had seen each other before. The subsequent seconds went something like this:

Christian Singer Girl: Oh my God! You were totally at the Fellowship on Friday!
(Fuck)
Me: Yeah, you caught me, I was there. (Fake smile)
CSG: Well, what did you think of it?
Me: The music was great, I liked it a lot.
CSG: Awesome, so will we be seeing you again?
Me: Oh, unfortunately I'm going to Maryland this weekend.
CSG: That's totally okay, I'll just remind you again next week!

So now, I'm sure I'll be constantly reminded about the Fellowship until I finally capitulate one week and go back there. I don't mind people having strong faith in something, because let's face it, life can be really fucked up sometimes and it doesn't hurt to have something to lean on. I just hate the fact that someone who doesn't know anything about me is pushing me to give in so easily to something without fully evaluating my options. After much research, thought, and observation in my life I have come to one conclusion: in some way, shape, or form, something with a sum greater than its parts created everything around us. In short, I see no way that something came from nothing. Golden numbers such as pi, e, and theta don't keep showing up for no reason. The elliptical shape of our galaxy, our graphs of certain numbers, and our fingerprints is, in my view, undoubtedly linked by some sort of design. The point is this: if you come to the conclusion that God certaintly exists through nature or deep rooted faith, I credit you with having made an intelligent choice. However, I don't think it's any of your business to go around spreading that message like a crazed lunatic. May each man or woman come to whatever conclusion they want on their own.

Until next time,

mh