days gone by

"No alarms and no surprises."
October 6, 10:51 AM
State College, PA

Despite the fact that I had heard my alarm buzzing almost two and a half hours ago, I decided to ignore it, as is the case on most Mondays and Fridays. I have Introduction to C++ on those days which the university insisted that I take despite the fact that I had proven more than adequate knowledge on several pre-programming tests. However, those were taken three years ago, a time frame which Penn State considers too long ago for me to remember the specifics of it. I've responded by only going to class on quiz or test days due to the fact that I have worked so far ahead in the class that it isn't even worth going to. Therefore, I have been able to successfully expand my days that I don't need an alarm to four from two. Cha-ching.


"You see that guy over there. That's my econometrics professor. Nice guy and all, but if a pin drops he'll hear it and wait at least thirty seconds before restarting class."
October 6, 1:06 P.M.
Driving on Curtin Road

I'm waiting in class now for what seems like ever. Tick, tick, tick. The ruffling of newspapers has the Dutch professor in a silent uproar. I can only imagine what was going on in his head as someone tried to enter my row and accidentally uttered the words "Excuse me" too loudly. He stared at the young man for what seemed like an eternity before looking up and continuing. Econometrics is a nice course and all but it'll probably be something I'll never use, despite being the most important course an Economics major takes. You see, after my freshman year I was in such a rush to get out of Education that I went to the first thing that appealed to me. Economics seemed like a good choice because it was enough to keep me interested and hard enough to the average student to make me feel like somewhat of a badass when I told people my major. Problem is, I really didn't know what the fuck I was getting myself into. Economics is more of a technical discipline in the sense that economists do the boring statistical and graphical work while the finance people sell the product we recommend and make ten to fifteen times what we do. Thankfully(or maybe not so), I've always wanted to be on the financial end of things. I look up and it's almost 2:15. I have successfully daydreamed my way through another class.


"The most fascinating question about our own minds just might be if we can really be sure of anything."
October 6, 2:42 P.M.
Hosler Building

Finally, a class I can pay attention in: Philosophy. As a young daydreamer(way back in my high school days) I often thought about majoring in Philosophy, yet I was led to the conclusion that if I did I would just think about things all day. Considering this is what I usually did all day(I was much less social then than I am now) I decided that I wanted something more people related. Back to today though. For whatever reason, today's lecture seemed to resonate with me a lot more so than usual. Most of the time, I'll listen to my professor for a solid minute and a half and then zone out for five minutes. That's pretty much the way the first month and a half of lectures had gone in that class. However, today was different. Dr. Fisher stepped out of in front of the safe haven of his computer and instantly seemed less like a blabbering fool and more like an average man. No longer did he appear like an arcane philosopher, but rather a human that was trying to get us all to understand that the problems faced in philosophy are intense and sometimes scary, but that they are necessary for us to consider as humans. He fielded questions and even allowed us to give our own opinions on the mind body problem. All in all, a lecture that I could actually relate to.


"Let's go down to the weight room before I punch someone."
October 6, 7:30 P.M.
State College Park

It's funny how girls can bring out the best and the worst in us. In one sense, when you finally meet a girl you like it seems like there's some kind of obstacle in the way to get what you both want. So often we lie in that odd place that neither one wants to risk losing the friendship by venturing into the dating phase, yet both still have this weird attraction to each other. And often times teetering on that fine line leads us to overthink and occasionally overreact to situations.


"I guess he's just trying to find himself. I think we all are really."
October 6, 9:15 P.M.
State College Park

College is one of the rare times in our lives that we can actually learn more about ourselves from other people than we can from just being alone. It's a place that takes acne ridden youngsters and produces freshly minted adults. I can honestly say that I learned about ten times more outside of the classroom last year than I did in it. And believe me, I feel that I made great strides last year in understanding what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. Still though, I think that I made even greater strides in finding out what kind of person I wanted to be and how I could get there. It's just the getting there part that can be aggrevating.


"It's not until late at night that I really start to think about the way that things could have been."
October 7, 1:38 A.M.
State College, PA

As those parting words left a friend's mouth(or IM box), I began to reflect on the way that things could have gone for me in the past. The question that I always get back to is whether things happen as part of a greater plan or if we're able to make that plan ourselves. As I look back, I realize that a lot of things that happened to me weren't fair, but they were necessary. Throughout broken promises and broken hearts I've learned about the dark, dark side of human nature. On the other hand, through strengthened friendships and difficult times I've learned that the Great Balancing Act goes both ways. We just need to hope we're on the right end of the beam that day.