the sky turned yellow

It's the truth. Tonight, I saw more consecutive lightning bolts than I've ever seen in my life. It was just insane, just one after the other.

To begin with, I will give you a quick rundown of the weekend.
friday- I went to both of my classes and then came home and relaxed for awhile. Later, I hung out with bradburn and leigh and we went to eat n park and these two girls started talking to me when we were in line and bradburn mentioned a little later that he thought they were hot. However, he never went and talked to them. He's a good guy and a good friend but it makes me kinda mad to see that. Anyways, the night ended early and I got a decent night's sleep.
saturday- Work was good for the first half of the day. In the second half I had to build a wheelbarrow without using saw horses. English translation= I build a wheelbarrow on the unsteadiness of a raised platform. It was not fun to say the least because every time i would get the carriage bolt through the base and the wedge, I would have to quickly grab the bolt with my other hand so it wouldn't fall out of place. Such a pain in the ass. After work, I went over nayhouse's and hung out with him and schleicher for awhile. I finally killed that flat beer that he had for awhile. God was that nasty. Later, I went over hrehas for some side game action. The rest of the night I won't disclose because, well, you'll have to read about it in my book or something.
sunday- Work was alright, same old same old. After work, I played basketball and watched lefty win the Masters. A good tournament indeed. Later that night, nayhouse came over and we struggled endlessly trying to get my links to work on dreamweaver with the SSH client.
monday- class, then i went golfing. I can truly say that I enjoyed playing the round even though I shot a dismal 51.
tuesday- class, class, softball game(which we won), class, nothing, work, homework
today- class, class, gym, home, basketball, food, then cards later. Cards were terrible. I was just in a bad state of mind for about the last hour. I flopped two flushes where higher flushes were flopped. My kings ran into aces, my jacks into kings, and my tens into kings. Needless to say, I played well enough for awhile to almost get back to even before I took some tough shots. Nothing I could do really, just a series of unfortunate events. As I was walking to the car, I began to get into one of those reflective moods. Maybe the humidity and nonstop lightning had to do with it. I realized how exhausted I am. Exhausted from work. Exhausted from school. Exhausted from life in general. The bad thing is, I can't even point to one thing that it is. It's just a combination of things that are hitting me at the same time. At the start of 11th grade, I was still a really motivated kid. I loved to learn, play sports, and do all sorts of other things. Then I met a girl that I really, truly liked. She didn't like me though. It took me so long to accept the fact that it simply wasn't going to happen. I had to go away to a different city for a week and a half for that to be finished with. My senior year, I began to get a little of it back. I looked back on how stupid it was to be affected by this so much that I barely did well enough on the APUSH test to get a "passing" grade. Man would I have liked to taken that test again in a different state of mind. Senior year, I had nothing to really complain about for the first half of the year. Until about march, I had two different girlfriends that I was happy with. Happy enough to be motivated to do work. Then something bad happened. I was single and found out the girl I liked the year before claimed that she liked me. Nothing good could come of the situation and by april I liked her again. This lasted until about graduation, whence I realized I had to give it up for good now. It was hard, and I was back to being unmotivated again. Needless to say, I got back together with an old friend from the past and I was motivated again. I did well my first college semester, getting a 3.73. I was motivated enough to learn the material, but sometimes it still felt like something was missing. By february of this year, I was single again but a generally happy person. Then I had a month where I was affected by a fever then a terrible cough that I collectively call bronchitis, but I doubt it was actually that. I met a new girl who I genuiely like but am not sure of what the situation will be like. I'm really tired of going to work becuase it is boring and they are really knit-picky about doing things their way. God forbid I try not to conform and actually learn something for myself. In school, I've lost my curiosity. That's a terrible thing. A curious person will do well in school because he or she is intrinsicly motivated to do the work and use the knowledge to improve his or her life. That's just not me right now. I'm scratching, barely surviving, and hoping to make it through the semester. I could blame some of it on sickness, but it's something that I like to call exhaustiveness. I'd rather sit here or play golf or do ANYTHING but open those books. For god's sake, I have a geography paper due in 9 hours that I haven't started. In psychology, I don't read the book or look up the daily doubles and still pass the exams. In history, I use my knowledge of the subject to get 107/100 on exams. Economics I actually have put a lot of effort into and I see myself understanding a lot of the concepts. In CI I haven't done a PEPP journal in a month, updated my website, or started my presentation. It seems like there's a mountain to move and I really could care less if it gets moved or not. It isn't a good thing to just breeze by. It's college, and you're there to learn things, not memorize/not care about them. I've seriously been considering taking a semester off and hiking the appalachain trail. It looks like the shit, and I love hiking and the outdoors in general. I think that it would be a great way to clear my mind and refocus myself for the rest of college and beyond. I'm 18 years old and I feel that I'm having a mid-school crisis or something like that. The thunder is getting closer to my house now too and I can hear it. Perhaps an omen of some sort. So now that you've heard the story of my life, I'll stop bitching and whining about it. I live in the best country on the best planet in the universe(notice no "best municipality" or "best city" in there lol). I really don't have anything to complain about except my lack of motivation, which is alarming to say the least.

Tonight we will conclude with one of my favorite songs of all time.

Let It Be
By: The Beatles

When I find myself in times of trouble, mother Mary comes to me,
speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
And in my hour of darkness she is standing right in front of me,
speaking words of wisdom, let it be.

Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be.
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.

And when the broken hearted people living in the world agree,
there will be an answer, let it be.
For though they may be parted there is still a chance that they will see,
there will be an answer. let it be.

Let it be, let it be, .....

And when the night is cloudy, there is still a light, that shines on me,
shine until tomorrow, let it be.
I wake up to the sound of music, mother Mary comes to me,
speaking words of wisdom, let it be.

mh