decisions

this post will focus on decisions, since it seems like I've had to make a ton of them lately. Seriously, everything that I've done lately has had no clear cut correct answer. I've had to make some decisions and just go with them, because I really don't know what else to do.

friday- A few people from our baldwin crew went to see SawII at the dollar theatre. I saw carmelo there for the first time in awhile and talked to him briefly. I think that the second Saw was much better than the first one, but both raise moral questions that I hadn't even thought about before seeing either of the movies. After that, I picked up nayhosue and we all went to eat n park. Leigh was getting pissed off, and I found out later that it was for good reason. I realized how much things and people change over time. Sometimes it's really tough to handle, but you either roll with the changes or watch the changes roll over you.
saturday- I worked, and it wasn't exactly the most pleasant day ever. I want to do a job that I actually don't mind going to every day. It's not so much that I mind working there, but I want to do something exciting. Basically, I'm not the person that was meant to sit in the dock and watch the ships sail. I want to be out on the ocean too. That night I caught up with some sleep and watched the WPT because I had no desire to do any homework whatsoever.
sunday- Worked, wasn't so bad, and then went to play cards after work. Before that, I found out something that changed my entire perspective of one person who is very close to me. I'm not saying anything other than that. The person knows who they are and I just wonder why that person felt the need to lie to me about something that was important. Whatever, it wasn't that big of a deal, but I just hate being lied to. If you hate me, tell me straight up. I might make fun of people of sometimes, but I do it while they're there, not to somebody else. Anyways, cards were fun because there was this lady there that thought that nick and I were cheating and sending signals to each other or something. Haha. I was up about 800 when I had the chance to leave. God damnit, I decided to keep playing, and ended up losing 500 before cashing out a 300 dollar winner. It's so disappointing to not be able to rise above your natural instinct that tells you to stay. It's more than disappointing, it's pitiful.
monday- Had a psychology test which I think I did okay on. History was fun as always, and then I had PEPP later in the day. PEPP was fine as always and I'm starting to get to know some of the kids better which is always a positive thing. I came home and did some homework and talked to anna. Nothing else really, just that.
tuesday- I woke up and was very tired to start the day. In geography, I turned in my paper and listened to the professor bullshit about something all period. In economics, a similar fate occured. After my friends and I at PSU finished eating, we went outside to play football in the snow. A few of us went all out and fell down in the snow(I was one of them). After that, I went to bowling and had a geniuely good time. Another hard thing to deal with: Having to look at people that for three and four years have been your friends and now being an adult figure to them. It's so hard to do. I just want to retreat back to high school and have a good time again. Some may say that eventually, you have to take responsibility and put yourself in a leadership position. I disagree with this because if we all saw each other as equals, we would equally be leaders. Of course, society has misconstrued views of how age difference, race, ethnicity, and education should all play into how much "respect" someone deserves. Sorry for going into a tirade again. All in all, it's tough to get past the stage of being friends with someone and trying to be a more responsible adult figure to them. After that, I worked, and it wasn't that bad at all. I came home and got a few things done.
wednesday- I got up and finished my history quiz which forced me to skip psychology(not that I really care). History 021 always brings up new and exciting issues. A very interesting class to say the least. Now here's the bad part: I was supposed to go and visit with anna today to celebrate a belated Valentine's Day. Does that happen? OF COURSE NOT! My mom calls me and says that my uncle's surgery got fucked up and they weren't sure what condition he would be in. Wow. She said that she couldn't stop me from going but that it would be nice to stay home and watch my brother while she was there. In essence, that means you better stay home bitch because god hates you and wants you to constantly make difficult decisions. I stayed home with drew and we played around for awhile until my mom got back home. My dad cooked burgers but I wasn't hungry. I went to skyview and sat down at a 5/5 NL table. About 5 hands in, I made a great read with KK and doubled up when some dude pushed with QQ preflop. That was nice, but everything was downhill after one hand in particular. I had 99 and called 30 preflop. Flop was 567. Nick bet, I called, and some dude raised 100 more. Nick folded kings, and I thought about it for ahwile and called. Turn was a 2, and he went allin. I should have layed it down before this, but of course, I continued on with it and called. He showed 57 for two pair and I needed a 2, 6, 8, or 9 to win it. Nothing came. I lost another buyin when there were jacks, kings, and aces all on the table, and yours truly got f'd over with the jacks. The final blow came when I could have been back to even and some kid hit a club flush on the river to end it. Oh well, it happens. I played a 30 dollar SNG and lost a "coinflip" with AQ to 9 10. It's not really a coinflip, but the kid that called the allin thought it was. Next, I sat down at 3/6 and lost more. For the night, I took a decent hit, but it was bound to happen eventually. Nothing you can do now except to go getem next session. On the way home some lady was talking on the radio about why we are the "Unhooked Generation" which means that we can't find time for love in our life. I say that's more than a fair assessment of American culture. It's not so much that America is becoming anti-social, but that we are becoming a society that wants to talk to each other without seeing each other. Think about why myspace, IM, and cell phones are so popular. You can sit in your Pj's and talk to someone about anything. We spend so much time on the phone and computer that love might be waiting for us right outside our door. Who knows though. The real crux of the interview from this lady was when she said the following quote, which I totally agree with: "A lot of us say that we'll set up a career before we find love. Sometimes though, love has passed us by. Love doesn't work on time's schedule." How true is that?

Tonight, I'm going to put in lyrics from a good song. Enjoy kids.

100 Years
By: Five For Fighting

I'm 15 for a moment
Caught in between 10 and 20
And I'm just dreaming
Counting the ways to where you are
I'm 22 for a moment
She feels better than ever
And we're on fire
Making our way back from Mars
15 there's still time for you
Time to buy and time to lose
15, there's never a wish better than this
When you only got 100 years to live
I'm 33 for a moment
Still the man, but you see I'm a they
A kid on the way
A family on my mind
I'm 45 for a moment
The sea is high
And I'm heading into a crisis
Chasing the years of my life
15 there's still time for you
Time to buy,
Time to lose yourself
Within a morning star
15 I'm all right with you
15, there's never a wish better than this
When you only got 100 years to live
Half time goes by
Suddenly you’re wise
Another blink of an eye 67 is gone
The sun is getting high
We're moving on...
I'm 99 for a moment
Dying for just another moment
And I'm just dreaming
Counting the ways to where you are
15 there's still time for you
22 I feel her too
33 you’re on your way
Every day's a new day...
15 there's still time for you
Time to buy and time to choose
Hey 15, there's never a wish better than this
When you only got 100 years to live