nobler pursuits

Yes, that title is confusing. Truthfully, I'm not sure if "nobler" is even a word, but it's definitely catchy, so I think I'm going to keep it.

I'm not really sure when I updated last, so I'll just cover the last two days. Yesterday, I woke up late and watched a little bit of the soccer before going to work. Work went by quickly because we were preparing for the fireworks on friday. Afterwards, I came home and ate quickly and went to nick's house. We played side games for awhile and then played a ten dollar holdem game. I flopped three queens on a QQK board and ben turned a K to send me to the moon. After the game, we played side games for about four more hours. I went up huge. I hit flop after flop after flop. My only downfall was the fact that I couldn't win a coinflip against gerner for my life. We decided to call it a night(card wise) at about 330, and ventured to burger king. The late night crew at burger king can best be described as, well, I don't even know the word. It was immekus, gerner, ben, and myself and we ate and had free flowing conversation for about an hour. As usual, all aspects of life were discussed. Many blogworthy moments, but none that I really care to include. Today, I woke up late once again. Ben called and asked if I wanted to go golfing, so him, Jason, and I went to south park 9 hole course. We walked it and got done about 415. I had a mickelson-esque blow up on holes 5 and 6, but played pretty solid otherwise. My putting from inside five feet really saved me because I couldn't drive worth anything. Once we were done there, I went home and cut the grass and headed off to my brother's baseball game. His team was getting drilled by some pleasant hills team whenever I left in the fifth inning. Nayhouse called me on the way home and I stopped by and we played a little ping pong and watched the pirate game. He looked a little disgruntled, but nobody controls their emotions like him. That's the one quality that he has that I wish I could have more of. I have a decent amount of emotional control, but nobody is like nayhouse. After the game, I headed off to skyview. Everyone was there. Absolutely everyone. We had plenty to play 5/5 and I was pumped when the chips started flying. To sum it up, I got murdered. But some good came out of it. I decided that I'm done playing at skyview for awhile now. I'm tired of cards. I'm tired of losing and even winning. It's a circle, and sometimes you feel that you can beat it, sometimes you can't. Right now, I think it's best if I stayed away for the meantime. I have nobler pursuits, among them continuing my writing, reading more, and getting outside some more.

Until next time,
mh

a long weekend

Saturday was actually a pretty quick day at work. We were incredibly busy for a saturday in june and that is the key to the day going quickly. If you busy yourself with something, the time goes three times as fast. Everyone had a bet on how many of those cleaning packs we would sell that were on sale, and my guess of 35 was good. We actually sold like 120, but nobody but me guessed that high. I came home and slept for a little while before venturing over to brennan's house. We played a game of holdem then side games, both of which I lost at. In the holdem game, I floated around for awhile until blinds got high and I got my money in with AQ v KJ. My main problem lately in tournaments is not being able to find a rush of cards to take me over the hump to where I can secure a money spot. In side games, I couldn't hit the side of the barn in PLO or PLH. Afterwards, ben, brennan, and I decided to go to the meadows because I wanted to see what the place was like. After going there, I'd have to say that I like the very informal nature of it. You can come and go as you please, and the people who set it up did a great job to provide a very relaxed environment. Brennan showed me what to do, and I picked my first winner in the first race. We ate, chatted, and bet races for about 2.5 h ours before calling it quits. I left up about 30 bucks, which isn't bad for my first time. In the end, I was making some ridiculous bets for certain horses to place, but I still made sure that I came out a winner. Today, I went to work and was in for one of the longest days ever. The day dragged on forever. I came home and left in about an hour's time to go golfing with my dad. I played so-so and shot 49 on the front 9 of SP. I drove okay for the first seven holes, then sucked on the last two. My main problem was giving away too many iron shots and five foot putts. My game has improved dramatically, but I still have a long way to go. Afterwards, I returned home and ate, then left for skyview. To save you from the torture, I played a five hour session and went down an insignificant number. For about 3 hours straight, I had nothing at all to play. My best hand was A3 and I raised and everyone folded. It was a boring session, but definitely a moral victory. I proved to myself that I could cash out after a tenuous session.

Good night,
mh

a turning point

So tonight I realized something. It's funny how seemingly insignificant things in your life can perhaps drastically change the way you look at things. Tonight, I hung out with bradburn and rossi. We wanted to go to the movies, but the 730 showing was sold out, so we went over to the village for awhile. After wasting time over there, we went into barnes and noble and I went to the back and found the phish cd that I've wanted to get for awhile now. At about 920 we walked over and got tickets to the movie Click. I expected it to be funny, but I didn't expect it to have any sort of serious message to it. Without giving away exact details, I'll try to sum up the moral of the story. Basically, we all have choices to make in our lives. We seemingly have to choose between moving up in the corporate world or spending time with people that make us happy. And this is truly a situation that comes up quite often. Subsequently, with each wrong decision we make, we start down the road towards distancing ourselves from the people we love and truly becoming an asshole. The problem is, we don't see the decisions that we're making as bad. We're almost in a state of delirium, because we think that we are trying to the right thing. Eventually, we realize that we're making poor decisions, but we have reached the point of no return. We eventually wake up 20 years later(the use of a magic controller is not necessary) and realize how bad we have actually done for ourselves. We may have reached the top of the world, but the divides that exist between ourselves and people that we care for have been so great as to eclipse the success that we found in the "real world". As the ending unfolded, I realized something: I'm on that path. I'm on the path to becoming a complete asshole. I had a few big things not go my way in the last year, but the way I reacted to these events was awful. I shut out the people that I cared about, and looked for the most subtle nuances that I could identify as problem spots in people or the way they thought. So I guess I have a lot of making up to do. I've really done myself in regarding some of the things that I have done in the last year or so. Maybe some things can't be fixed, but that's okay. The way I see it, my life isn't anywhere near complete. I'm still a young man, and I have a long time to go. I have a lot of time to fix my piss poor attitude towards life and actually start caring about people. So now is the time. I've realized that there is a chance, while slim as it may be, that I may not wake up tomorrow. As time goes on, those odds increase. In that regard, death is guaranteed in time. The only thing that I can do is try to change the way I live each day, and I plan on doing just that.

mh

75 songs that changed my life

75. Give a Little Bit- Supertramp
74. Have You Ever Seen the Rain- CCR
73. Number One Spot- Ludacris
72. Dirt Off Your Shoulder- Jay Z
71. Only the Good Die Young- Billy Joel
70. Dani California- Red Hot Chili Peppers
69. Who Are You- The Who
68. Black Hole Sun- Soundgarden
67. Hanging by a Moment- Lifehouse
66. Long Haired Country Boy- Charlie Daniels Band
65. Holiday- Green Day
64. You're Beautiful- James Blunt
63. Bring Em Out- TI
62. Take The Long Way Home- Supertramp
61. Reeling in the Years- Steely Dan
60. Song For America- Kansas
59. Work- Jimmy Eat World
58. Bad Day- Daniel Powter
57. How's It Going to be- Third Eye Blind
56. Here I Go Again on my Own- Whitesnake
55. Toxicity- System of a Down
54. Closing Time- Semisonic
53. Brain Damgae- Pink Floyd
52. Mr. Brightside- The Killers
51. How to Save a Life- The Fray
50. Roll Me Away- Bob Seger
49. Ocean Avenue- Yellowcard
48. Jumper- Third Eye Blind
47. Come Sail Away- Styx
46. The Joker- Steve Miller Band
45. Keep Pushin'- REO Speedwagon
44. You Can't Always Get What You Want- Rolling Stones
43. Carry on Wayward Son- Kansas
42. Heart of Gold- Neil Young
41. Wonderful Tonight- Eric Clapton
40. The Space Between- Dave Matthews Band
39. Sunday Bloody Sunday- U2
38. Can't You See- Marshall Tucker Band
37. Life's Been Good- Joe Walsh
36. Lyin' Eyes- The Eagles
35. Move Along- All American Rejects
34. Mary Jane's Last Dance- Tom Petty
33. The Middle- Jimmy Eat World
32. Money- Pink Floyd
31. Simple Man- Lynryd Skynyrd
30. Yellow- Coldplay
29. Over My Head(Cable Car)- The Fray
28. Thunder Road- Bruce Springstein
27. Wonderwall- Oasis
26. Band on the Run- Paul McCartney
25. Stairway to Heaven- Led Zepplin
24. FreeFallin'- Tom Petty
23. Get Back- Ludacris
22. Only Love Can Break Your Heart- Neil Young
21. Superman- Five For Fighting
20. Hotel California- The Eagles
19. Jet Airliner- Steve Miller Band
18. Deacon Blue- Steely Dan
17. Pride- U2
16. Helena- My Chemical Romance
15. The Wall- Kansas
14. 25 or 6 to 4- Chicago
13. Drops of Jupiter- Train
12. Time- Pink Floyd
11. Wheel in the Sky- Journey
10. Crash Into Me- Dave Matthews Band
9. Pieces- Sum 41
8. New Kid in Town- The Eagles
7. Roll With the Changes- REO Speedwagon
6. Fix You- Coldplay
5. Dust in the Wind- Kansas
4. Time of Your Life- Green Day
3. Let it Be- The Beatles
2. 100 Years- Five For Fighting
1. Wish You Were Here- Pink Floyd

So there's my list. Enjoy it.

mh

the world cup factor

Today I set out for my usual game of soccer, but noticed that the field at colewood was being occupied by kids I had never seen before. Then, we went up to whitehall and noticed more of the same. It's like an epidemic. Lately, I've noticed that a ton of people are getting soccer games together, and that is definitely a good thing for the sport. As great as most American sports are, most of them promote laziness(in comparison to other world sports) For example, just how much running is actually involved in baseball or football? The latter you could make an argument for, but each side is given three timeouts and time after each play to regroup. You could make the argument that football is more physical than soccer, but many soccer games can be quite nasty. Soccer is the one sport(other than maybe hockey) that requires superb physical fitness from all players. In summary, it's good for a country that is like 55% overweight(although I don't believe that one bit).

This week has been more of the same as the last month. The center of my life is soccer, and I'm loving every minute of it. It's fun because the buildup of the perfect goal is, in my opinion, much better than the constant action of a hockey game. England looked very good in the first half of their game against Sweden, but those Swedes managed a to tie the match in the closing stages with a brilliant goal after the English defense collapsed like their army during ww1.

All in all, I don't have much to report. I started writing again, but as usual, I got sidetracked about 30 minutes in. I hope that I can get back to it tomorrow because the soccer matches don't look that interesting. However, when Thursday comes around, you will see me glued to the TV for two hours in the morning. Let's go USA....and Italy of course.

mh

on the pitch

My life for the last week has been consumed with soccer. Actually, more like the last month since before the World Cup started, but more recently we have been able to get some games together. On Monday, I was thrilled to be able to watch the US world cup game, but my hopes were soon deflated as the US completely flopped against the Czechs. Tuesday was my last day of work for a week because I have this week off. Wednesday I watched and played more soccer. I then hung out with my buddy mark and a few of his friends. We went back to his place and played mario golf(a classic) and played guitar for awhile. I would have to say that it was a pretty good night, because it is always good to hang out with different people. I have learned that different attitudes are definitely a good thing to experience. It is like a breath of fresh air. After that, I went to skyview and went up a little playing 1/2. Shane wanted to play HU PLO 2/4 but I declined because I was pretty sure he had a pretty big advantage. He probably practices a lot more and my hand selection is extremely liberal preflop in PLO. On Thursday we had our first really decent game of soccer and it was quite a workout. I forgot how much running is truly associated with a decent game of football, but was quickly reminded. I haven't played since the end of the last decade, so it's been awhile. Later that night nayhouse and I chilled and I slept over his house. I had a very weird dream, and what I can remember I'd rather not share. Call me ancient but I really believe that dreams are associated with things to come. All in my past, I've had some weird experiences with dreams. The first and only time that I dreamed I was dead was quite weird, and it was made even more weird because only two days later I awoke to find that my aunt joel had died. I've had people tell me that they have dreamed things about me doing things that actually happened. I don't know though. I'll save my views on dreams for another day, as we must be moving on. Friday was a long day. We played soccer for about 2 hours and then i went out with leigh, carly, and bradburn. I think the mini golf game ended in a tie between carly and I, but it was just an enjoyable time. Later that night, I had an interesting conversation with someone. I'd rather not go into specifics, but let's just say that it is good to have poeple in your life to keep you in check. It's good every once in awhile for someone to stand up to you and tell you that you are wrong. Once again, I appreciate the good(or not so much so) conversation. Today, I didn't have to work so I woke up late and watched the ghana game. It was a shocker, but something that was crucial for the USA. The USA game was actually a good one. For the first 20 minutes, the US had control of the game. They were dominating the middle of the pitch and aggresively pressing the Italian defense; something that they hadn't done against the czechs. Then, the Italians struck in a set piece to make it 1-0 Italy. Once again, my hopes were crushed early in the game. However, this time the US was ready. On a US set piece, the Americans were extremely fortunate to get an Italian own goal to tie the game at 1. After Italy had a player ejected for an extremely dirty play, the US was sitting pretty at halftime. Then comes the bad news. The US had two players ejected in two minutes on two terrible red cards. I mean, these were awful calls. Now the US was fighting for dear life to salvage a result. After beasley made that incredible run and put it in but donovan was called for offsides, I realize how bad the officiating was. In the end, we got a draw out of the game, and I'm too tired to type out what would need to happen for us to advance to the next round. After the game, I played a little soccer then went over nayhouses. A bunch of people came over and shot pool, and then some left and it was bro, nayhouse, schleicher, korbel, and myself left to eat pizza and play cards. Nayhouse's jewish luck was incredible. I've never seen someone more blessed than that kid.

More or less, I'm feeling exhausted right now. A lot of my mental exhaustion has to do with a lot of physical wear and tear on my body right now. Most of the time I can only go for about 14 hours in a row, then I need my sleep. I'm not sure if that is a good thing or not. I mean, I am still relatively young and my body could need rest to continue growing. During high school, I usually felt this way after a long week of work. It is good to feel this exhaustion because it means that I'm going out and making the most out of every day. I believe Steve Jobs said it best once by saying, "I look in the mirror each day and say to myself, 'If this was the last day of my life, is this what I would want to be doing with my day? And so I ask myself that question every day, and if the answer is yes, well then I have done good.'" I would like to type more, but I have nothing else to say. Oh yeah I do, I love not having to work. Haha. Nuff said.

mh

utter contentment

This weekend was an interesting one for sure. On Friday, I woke up early and my dad and I went to his buddy's house to get ready for the scramble. After bs'ing around there for awhile, his buddy showed up and we headed out to the golf course. We were clearly the underdog going in because we were up against 17 other groups and at least half of them had former amateur players. We started on hole 12, and bogeyed it after a decent effort. As the holes went on, our play steadily improved. Since we figured that we had no chance to win, we decided to have as much fun as possible with the day. Gibby and Pete were downing buds like they were huggies while my dad and i were drinking coors lite. By the ninth hole(which was actually like hole #16 for us) we were about +5 and had no chance of coming in anything but last. I popped up my tee shot, and my dad came up. He muttered something like "here comes a 260 yard drive". I said to him that if he hit it 60 yards we'd be happy. Then he said something that made my day. He said to me, "If I hit as far as you did, I fucking quit." Quite funny. We finished up the round and went to hamilton park for a buffet and for them to hand out prizes. I think it ended up that we won two prizes as a group in the raffle. It really didn't matter though that we only won two prizes or came in 18th place with a +5 score. Gibby said something like "we aren't at work so obviously our day is better." I realized at that moment that most adults hate work as much as kids do. Long ago, they had figured out that work sucked most of the time and that those precious hours that you get to spend with people that you have fun with or care about is the thing that drives you to be able to get through the day. I always wondered how my dad was able to work 15 hours and come home with a smile on his face. I understand why he was smiling, and I'm not sure why it took me so long to figure out something as simple as that. Later on, nayhouse and I went up to the high school to run this race that we had been planning to do for a long time. I bet that I could beat him in a 2 mile race. I was wrong. After six laps I gave up and he won. Subsequently, both of us and bradburn and rossi went to eat n park to celebrate my loss. It was a good time. Saturday at work wasn't bad at all. I don't work with mindy anymore except for saturday mornings and that is disappointing because we always used to find ways to make the days go faster. Nothing exciting happened and I left at five. At about 6, my mom and I went over to my grandma's because we were having a family gathering for my cousin and uncle from florida being in town. It wasn't one that I would soon forget. There are two moments that sharply stick out in my mind. The first is when my cousin came running inside the house saying that he isn't hungry. He is probably my brother's age(12) or a little older. He's known to be a little bit odd and my brother had a good time(supposedly) telling him how weird it was to wear a headband with a japanese cartoon character on it. So he comes inside and my uncle tells him, "either eat your food or I'm gonna punch you in the face." I couldn't hold back the laughter; and when I did, everyone looked at me. I glanced over at my parents and you could see that they were having trouble not laughing at this as well. Who tells their son that they are going to punch him if he doesn't eat the meal? Second, I went outside to catch football with my little brother and left my phone inside. Of course, my uncle dave has to stir up the masses, so he takes my phone and calls mark's phone. Whenever I heard the howling coming from inside, I ran in to see what was going on. All I heard was, "This is matt's uncle...he might have mentioned me to you before." Sounds like something he would say. An enjoyable night to say the least. I came home, played some online poker, and sweated ben's PLO final table finish. This morning, I woke up at 9 AM sharp and got ready for work. Work was so so and afterwards I was finally given the chance to catch up on some rest. How about the World Cup so far? The trinidad and tobago performance was incredibly shocking. I always root for the underdog and I was extremely downtrodden when angola lost to portugal 1-0. After napping for awhile, I went to skyview. They just started a 1/2 NL and I was able to get a seat. For the first 3 hours, I teetered and tottered right around my original buyin. Then, I got lucky and rivered a set against ali. Magically, some draws started to come alive for me. It wasn't so much that I couldn't miss, it was more that I was hitting cards when I needed to hit cards. After six hours, I went up a decent sum for a 1/2 game. I was pretty happy with the way I played because I played well and was lucky to hit some draws to win some big pots.

I think this weekend can best be summed up by saying that I am extremely content with myself right now. In the past, I have allowed my emotions to get the best of me in cases, but adding balance to my life and playing cards for long periods of time has helped me to become a much more patient person. I learned(not just from this weekend) that a lot of outside things are going to hamper your path to success, but that the strength you have inside of you is much greater than that. Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, "What lies behind you and before you are tiny matters compared to what lies within you." That is incredibly true. No matter what is going on on the outside, you will always be you. This weekend has taught me a lot about who I really am as a person. For most of my days, I spend time around people who could be my parents or grandparents. Their lives are incredibly simple and it seems as though they don't have a care in the world. I've realized that they usually don't have a care because they have experienced all of the things as younger people and have come through all these challenges successfully. I'm just going to stop right now because my words are getting sloppy.

Until next time,
mh

don't wake me up

First of all, I would like to state, as a pretense to anything I write here that I don't believe in curses. Curses are things that are highly exxagerated by the people whom the events happen to. I always believed that if you worked hard and put your utmost effort that you would succeed at it in one way or another. As of late, events have made me a cynic though. You don't really become cynical until you go out there and experience some of the things that life has to throw at you for yourself. In other words, there aren't any "couch" cynics to say.

Yesterday, I was awoken early by my brother saying that he wanted to go down to union field to go to this day camp thing. At 9 AM? Why would anyone ever want to get up at 9 AM? I guess at one point in my life(my pre-teen years) I got up early. I know I'll be getting old whenever I start getting up before four digits appear on the digital alarm clock in my room. I took him there, and came back and watched MTV while eating breakfast. I was disappointed by the music that they play on there to say the least. At about 1, bradburn, ben hreha, and I went out to the practice tee to golf the par 3. Ben and I had side bets, and I was up big after 5 holes, but he pulled four of the greatest holes ever to make a great comeback and end up tying me. Next, we decided to gamble on the batting cages to see who could hit more balls, him being in the 40 mph cage and myself in the 70 mph(since I had a distinct advantage having played for 14 years). We both hit 9 the first time and the second time. In short, we broke dead even for both competitions. After that, we went to the mall and I ate manchu wak's tuesday special, General Tso's for 3.99. I went home and got ready for work after that delicious meal. Work wasn't great because we have this new cashier who doesn't talk and we had to unload an order which took most of the night. I think ben hreha put it best by saying, "why do you still work there?" I really have no answer for that. It's kind of like I'm watching the waves come in from a distance, it's the same thing every day. And I don't even get to watch the sun rise or set. I guess more or less I feel like barry sanders did while playing football. I know a lot involving my job and can do it well, but I do not enjoy it at all. I find it really boring. Like Andy Dufresne said, either get busy living or get busy dying. At this point in my life I feel like I'm just waiting for a bus to come to take me to another place. That's not me at all. If I want to go somewhere, I'll walk there. Alright, this symbolism is getting out of control. After work, bradburn and I went to work at the 1/2 limit tables. When nayhouse finally got back from his gf's house, the three of us decided to go down to eat n park. The table talk was refreshing to say the least. Anytime that you put nayhouse and I in the same vicinity, the conversation is always going to be lively. It's been that way for as long as we have known each other. About 30 minutes after we got there, two gentleman that we know very well strolled in. It was none other than ferg and kozo, both who I hadn't seen in over a year. Apparently, they both work security now. To tell you the truth, I think everyone in baldwin was there. We saw the likes of ryan russman, megan curley, caroline kirkwood, jackie cundra, rikhea, ray benvenuti, shane something, jared waldo, something zovko, and of course the two jokers. Ferg and I could not leave the premise without pulling something of course. We conversed with the waitress and convinced her that it was bradburn's birthday. About ten minutes later, her and a couple other waitresses come out with a "cake" and singing some random EnP song. I can honestly say that it was one of the best nights I've had in quite some time, and it was quintessential to have. This morning, I woke at about 11AM and got breakfast. Actually, no I didn't. Bradburn, hreha, and I walked down to subway in caste and ate there. We saw "tomcat" brennan there and he, hreha, and I made plans to play golf at SP after the meal. All in all, I shot decent off the tee, yet couldn't hit an iron to save my life. I putted well, which is a good sign for friday. I came home and my brother and I hung out for awhile. We ate, and I was off to skyview. After dropping two buyins at 5/5, I began an incredible comeback. I was up about 1.5 buyins and it was three handed between joe, some random guy, and myself. Now you know that this is where it is going to get bad, because it always does. I have J8c and I call a preflop raise to 20 as does joe. The flop is J 8 5 with two hearts. The original bettor bets 30, and I raise to 75. Joe says goodbye and the other guy goes allin for about 220 more. I call instantly and he turns up J7. Well, you already know the ending. He hits running hearts to bury me. A couple hands later after I recovered from that, an even sicker situation would come up. I am dealt 95o and I limp as there is no preflop raise. Flop is 9 5 3 with two hearts again. I bet 20, joe calls, random guy raises to 45, and I jam it to 120. Joe thinks about it forever and folds. The random guy just calls. The turn is a 10d and I bet 50. He comes over the top for 185 more. I called after thinking about it for awhile and he shows, you guessed it, 9 10! I was sick. Absolutely sick. The final hand I don't even want to talk about. I had KQ and pushed allin for about 125 and he called with....Q5. Right on the flop was 5 5 2. I've never been more sick playing poker than those three hands. As I stated earlier, I don't believe in being cursed, but I am playing brilliantly and being punished for it. So tomorrow, when the alarm rings at 6AM, don't bother waking me up. Let me sleep on this one for a change.

mh

shabang

after 133 posts and almost two years of blogging, I believe my time here is done....well at least for now. I used to post every day but things have gotten quite busy lately and I want to have time to do other things, so I'm discontinuing this blog until further notice. Over the last six months, my post count has rapidly deteriorated and posting has seemed like more of a job than an enjoyment to me. So for now, goodbye

mh