Happy New Year and Funniest Comments Part 3

I'll start by reviewing wednesday, because I think I skipped it in my last post.

wednesday- During the day, I did something. I'm not really sure and it's not coming to me, so let's just fast forward to the night. Nick and I went out to skyview at around 730 and found it more packed than ever. They were having a free drawing for prizes ranging from money to free tournament entries. I first got seated at a 3/6 Limit table. The table was surprisingly strong for a limit table, but if some lady wouldn't have hit a four outer flush or another dude didn't hit runners to make a full house against my flopped straight, I would have been fine. I was tilting, so I went and got a seat at the 2.50/5 that was opening up soon. It was a little slow to start, but the first monster pot of the night was a hand I was involved in. I had A7c and there were three other people in the hand preflop. Flop came down QQ6 two clubs. Some guy bet, another called, and I called becuase it was a really tiny bet. Turn came down the 2c, the money card for me. I fired 25 and both called. River was a Jc, giving me a better flush. I bet out 35, and some dude to my left raised 35. In my head I was saying, this asshole just hit QJ. I called, and he showed JJ, a 2 outer hit for the victory. Nice, as always. I called for 200 more, and that's when I really kicked it into high gear. One hand I had JJ and the flop was 723, some kid bet 30 and I just smooth called. Turn was another 2, and he moved his last 120 in. I thought about it, and called. He had 10 10. It was a great call. I more than doubled my stack that hand, and it was all uphill from there. I had queens one hand and made another good call when the board had two pair and an undercard to my queens. I was at about 900, calmly collecting pots and dominating the table when yami came over and asked if anyone wanted to play 5/5. I have no clue why on earth I said yes. I was moved to nick's table, and I cashed out about 400 beforehand. I moved over there with 500 and simply got killed. Their aggression was too much, and my game didn't tighten up like it should have. I also lost a huge pot when two guys were allin. I had AK, one had 74, the other had 87s. The flop was 478. Haha. It sucked because it was about a 250 dollar pot, and I think I could have got rolling if I had won that. I pissed off the 500 and went over to the 30 dollar SNG game. I was doing really well until I was allin vs. K7 and KQ. I'm about a 53% favorite because they're sharing a K and there are only three Q's left. Flop was 5 7 9, a great one for me. Turn was an A. River was another 7, basically the story of the last two months. The river is absolutely murdering me. I came home later and crashed.
thursday- Not sure of all that I did during the day. I went to work later. Afterwards, I hung out with leigh, booter, and nayhouse and we all went to get something to eat. Booter told us all of his adventures in Atlanta, which were stunning to say the least. It's funny the people that you see in Baldwin. It's such a huge mix of race, ethnicity, age, and other things. Baldwin is America exemplified. After I took all of them home, I wrote for a long time and went to bed really late.
friday- I was awoken by mike nayhouse coming into my room and hitting me with a stick. Awesome way to be greeted at 11 o clock in the morning. Of course, my idiot brother not only let him in the house, but he proceeded to watch the beating from the first row. Nayhouse and I chilled for about an hour, and then began one of the longest days ever. It began by going out to the DVE offices in Greentree and attempting to claim the free beer that nayhouse won about a month ago. Unfortunately, because he was underage, they refused to give him the beer and had no comp for him. I'm listening to BobFM from now on. From there, we got back on the parkway and cruised down to robinson mall. It was a sight to see the thousands of cars in the parking lot to say the least. That place is absolutely enormous. We walked around for awhile and went to the food court. We both ate chic fil a because it was the only good thing there(surprisingly). At about 2, we continued our scintillating run down the parkway by continuing all the way to the great town of canton, OH. Actually, the place really isn't that great at all. It's so much more run down than when I used to go there every weekend. We unsuccessfully tried to find my grandparent's old condos and the baseball field and lake where I'd hang out all the time. We ended up going into the desolate mall and the booming walmart, which coincedentally, was right next to it. This is the reason that I hate walmart. I mean, it's nice to have things cheaply and everything, but if it's at the cost of destroying small business around it, forget about it. By the time we were finished there, it was about 6 and we found a small diner to eat at. The food was actually pretty good and we chatted with the waitresses for awhile. After getting 10 buck meals a piece, we decided we should probably hit the road once again. We got lost and ended up taking 62 East instead of 30 East. However, being the great navigator that I am, we were able to hit 30 East later on in the voyage and continued on home safely. Nayhouse came over and we chilled till about 11 when he decided to go home. I got a call from immekus to go over to hrehas, but I was completely spent and decided to chill at my house before going to bed at about 2.
saturday- Work was well, work. It was busy until about 230, and we just stood around after that. I came home and continued my binge playing of FIFA06, my latest addiction. After being fired as manager from Tottenham, my Watford club started up pretty good. Bethanne called to make sure I was still coming over, and after taking my brother and mom to the pusts, I picked up nayhouse, took schleich home, and we went over there. After eating, we headed downstairs to hang out for awhile. It was kind of disappointing that maura didn't show up, but hey, you gotta do what you gotta do. I thought that it might be weird seeing bethanne's bf, daryl, for the first time in so long. Truthfully, I still liked bethanne the last time we hung out(about six months ago). However, I don't anymore, and we were able to get along pretty good. Nayhouse and I played a little pool, and then settled in to watch the movie Thirteen. For whatever reason, I'm not horrified by blood or watching people get cut(I'm not sure if that's good or bad) like everyone else is. After that, we whipped out the ddr mats and played for the first time in awhile. Since there were so many people there, I didn't get to show my prowess very often. Haha, just kidding, I was actually doing pretty bad, even though I hadn't played in 2 or 3 months prior to that. Moving forward, we did more pool, catch phrase, and karaoke. Finally, it was time for the ball to drop. We turned out the lights, downed some champagne, and watched 2005 fade away like dust in the wind. Nayhouse and I left at about 1. All in all, I had a really good time, and for the first time in the last four years, I didn't touch alcohol on new years eve. I was happy to see that everyone could talk to each other without there being tension in the air. I was happy to be able to talk to new people, those being bethanne's sister melissa and her friends. In conclusion, a very good night.
sunday- I woke up at about 11 and had the traditional new years pretzel. Basically, I was really lazy for most of the day until nayhouse came over around 5. We played FIFA for awhile and called up leigh and kristen, and they came over. After starting to watch dazed and confused, we got bored and went bowling for just one game. I made a side bet that kristen and nayhouse couldn't beat me by myself, and nayhouse promptly shot 189 to dispell the possibility of me ever winning a prop bet. We drove around for awhile, hit wendys, and ended up going back to leighs basement to play a really watered down truth or dare, which turned into truth only after mike nayhouse flashed everyone and I did my KG impression. The night was a little awkward to say the least. As George Costanzo would say, worlds were colliding. We left around 230 and I was on the phone with anna until 4.
today- I set my alarm for 11, but actually awoke at around 1:45. I got breakfast, and then was the laziest I've been in probably a very long time all day. I played FIFA, watched Ohio State win, and watched poker. Basically, other than starting another short story, I did nothing productive today. I talked to anna for awhile, ate dinner, played more fifa, and then talked to her again. Truthfully, she's up there with nayhouse for being the most fun people to talk to. I also talked to a random slew of people online, and finished this blog post that I started yesterday.

So here's what you've all been waiting for. Three long months, and trust me, it's well worth the wait. In this episode, Nick Immekus' life is told by dan rather, and some of the funniest comments yet have been released. Enjoy folks. Version 4 comes out at the end of March 06.

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Funniest Comments Version 3
Copyright 2006
Edited by: Matt Hartman

Nayhouse: Why would he fire you for having sex at work?

(Nayhouse is checking out other girls)
Future girlfriend: Mike, is that you?
Nayhouse: No.

Immekus [2:11 PM]: ive had a good 24 hrs on internet poker

Cass: you might find some popped ones, me and this bobby kid slashed like 4 of them with our knives lol

Dr Pauly: I was going to punch a hole in the wall but I remembered that Mario and Luigi were already punching holes in walls and getting paid to do that.

kinger133439 (1:39:46 AM): the exorcism of nick immekus: based on a fake story
"Fuck you!"- says the New York Times
"Faggot... thats all."- Ebert, Ropper and the Movies.
"OUTSTANDING!!"- South Hills Record

Me: it gives me something to do while im there
Cass: thats important
Cass: lol i used to just hang out back by the garbage cans

Me: plus he has pornstars
Me: which is always a bonus
Mark: haha
Mark: you said BONus

Lady ona 883: just call 1-900-bull shi33
Ltrain79: do you take credit cards

Me: I definitely would have done the one chic
Me: The tenth grader.
Nayhouse: Dude, you love those tenth graders.

Nayhouse: well i'd do what any good man would do
Nayhouse: i'd try to make out with her b4 lunch where ever u go, n if she does we go have lucnh n u take her home

Mrhmrh102: not bad actually, ive met quite a few girls since college started
Leigh: nice
Leigh: none like me tho

Mark: she's very outgoing. unlike my last gf
Mark: she's cute
Mark: nice body
Mark: a giver. a caring nurturer.

Nayhouse: Dude my parents buy her shot glasses.
Me: Why?
Nayhouse: They think she likes to collect them.

Anna: go look for em lol
Mrhmrh102: yeah i'll prowl the neighborhood
Mrhmrh102: my brother would tho
Mrhmrh102: cuz he's a girl

Leigh: i had one of those once
Me: yeah my parents never loved me

Kinger: "Nick Immekus is an O.K. guy in my book." ~ Mike Tyson
Immekus: did mike tyson really say that about me?

Bill Murphy: The ice in my teef keep the crystal cold.

Anna: and her parents were home
Anna: and they are gay
Anna: literally
Mrhmrh102: lol
Anna: her 2 dads kept coming outside like we were doing something wrong

Kinger: "Some of you ask the question: "Who is Nick Immekus?" The answer is simple. Nick Immekus is the space between a blink and a tear. He is as elusive as a four leaf clover. He holds no basis in reality. He is a person who given the choice between high school and video games, chose the latter. His life consists of World of Warcraft, online poker, and boys. He has no direction, or purpose, and his fakeness has no equal in this world. That is the best explanation one can have of Nick. He is fake for fakeness' sake, and has no desire to ever move out of his parents basement, so long as he has a computer and his one day a week job at Salvatore's. Nick Immekus does nothing, pays for nothing, sleeps, and eats. He is living proof that if you are antisocial enough, you can actually fade away from society, and then reality. He is living his dream."
~Dan Rather, CBS News
Nick: Dear Dan... Your false propaganda against me has to stop. "His life consists of World of Warcraft, online poker, and boys." It also consists of real life poker, going to my classes 1/10 of the time, and masturbating, get the facts right bitch. "He is fake for fakeness' sake, and has no desire to ever move out of his parents basement, so long as he has a computer and his one day a week job at Salvatore's." First off, i work 2 days a week. 2ndly, I live in the upstairs part of my house, once again do the research you dumb fucking piece of shit. "Nick Immekus does nothing, pays for nothing, sleeps, and eats." Wait, let me get this right, you just contradicted yourself, you just said everything my life consisted of, and then you say my life consists of nothing, nice one asshole. "He is living proof that if you are antisocial enough, you can actually fade away from society, and then reality. He is living his dream." Im living proof of not being real?? LOOK AT WHAT YOU JUST SAID.. Your a fucking moron. GG no re, i win.

Cass: and go out into the cold, and it had been raining, and frosty the homosexual snowman needed deflating.

Booter: I was thinking of emailing him
Booter: but idk if he would know how to open it

Mark: i have to write about blacks in my paper or i'll fail

Anna: my dogs biting me
Mrhmrh102: lol y
Mrhmrh102: wait
Mrhmrh102: i should be saying "go dog"

Melissa: lol o i was juz roarin fer fun i blocked him a while ago

Mike Matusow: u think your mom was my bittttttttch last night

Immekus: u wanna collude a 2 table right now or u gunna be heading to bed?

Me: first off, we only have 5 ppl, and some of them are little kids
Ben: i have conroy

Kazour: hah, you drugged up hippie

Kazour: whatever man
Kazour: just punch him next time you see him

Leigh: should we ask him
Me: thats a scary proposition
Leigh: im cool with no

Me: I bet you didn’t eat breakfast today
Anna: Yes I did
Me: What’d you eat then?
Anna: Uhhh….pancakes
Me: Who made them?
Anna: Ginger….<--- that’s her dog

Me: I don’t know babe, those cruises are so expensive.
Anna: Not when you know the captain

Nayhouse: should i change from my suit ? or leave it on ?
Me: leave it on
Me: ull look sexxxxy

Booter: plus my bluffing power is gonna be good if they dont move me lol
Me: dont assume that
Me: none of them pay attention

Anna: they dont wait for like 3 days and say o well i guess its not getting better
Mrhmrh102: lol
Anna: but hey im not pointing fingers

Anna: I’m going to the Columbus hockey game on Friday.
Anna: But we’ll probably leave at halftime or something.

Drew: I think they play Eminem
Drew: The biggest wiggar in the world

Me: My back just feels really tired.
Anna: Maybe it needs some sleep.

Maura: i donno why he would say that he is obviously retarded

Strut: Another interesting (though untrue) theory about the title is that is a mathematical ratio for cutting cocaine.

Me: So you going out tonight?
Larry: Nope, there’s gonna be too many amateur drunks out.

mh