all behold....finals week

Whew, it's that time of year. It's the time that makes or breaks your grade, and in some people's case(obviously not mine) your heart.

thursday- nothing really except for work where we moved the tractor out of this big wooden cage that it was in....haha. It was actually pretty fun using the crowbar to smash the wooden walls that bounded the tractor. It was a metaphor for well....something.
friday- I didn't go to classes because there was a huge snowstorm the night before and my street wasn't driveable whenever it was time to go to class. Actually, thinking back, thursday and friday were full of symbols of everyday things that represented similies of what was going on in my life at that time. The night before anna and I had a pretty big disagreement(which is pretty rare) and it was kinda symbolized in the brutalizing power of a snowstorm. Ironic to say the least. Instead of going to classes, I did homework and not much else. I listened to mark's radio show although the network would stall every three seconds, making it difficult to actually listen to any of the songs. It kinda sucks to have missed the last live broadcast of the year because he played so much good stuff, but such things happen. Later that night, I was supposed to go out with some people, but a slight miscommunication and I was playing legend of zelda for a lot of the night until my dad got home. He, my brother, and I went bowling at princess lanes and we saw schleich and his friend joe(who was a really cool kid) there. I was throwing the ball decently well and was in the pocket 90% of the time for the night. All night, I left a total of one ten pin, and I picked it up. I made my spares and only had three opens in four games(two were splits) and I ended up averaging 218, which isn't bad for not bowling for two and a half months. Basically, we had gone out to avoid this jewelry party that my mom was holding at our house and it was a successful endeavor. By the time we returned, they had all gone up to mccoy's to do whatever they do up there. I played a little more ocarina of time(best game eva) and crashed.
saturday- Work wasn't really bad at all because I was up and awake for most of it. After work, I made some calls and we got a night arranged. Well actually, my friends and I never really plan anything, we just go with the flow. I guess that would explain why nayhouse and I went for so many random drives in the summer, especially those that went out 43. I picked up leigh and booter and we went to denny's just to talk. I think that's a really great thing, sometimes just taking some time off going out and talking with your old friends. Of course, there were plenty of updates to unravel at that table, and most of them came out. I'm not going to share what was talked about because it might offend some of you(actually it wouldn't) but I'm basically too lazy to type it up. After, we picked up nayhouse and went back to my vacated house. We talked about just about everything and went on to watch LOTR. Nayhouse and Leigh had a moment or whatever and were able to repair their mostly tattered friendship. I lent booter Theory of Poker, and hopefully it will help his very bad poker game. Haha, just playing dude. I devoted the rest of the night to talking to anna and we worked out a deal to make things better. I don't really feel like talking about what the whole thing involved, so you'll have to use your little imaginations and conjure up what was said. I crashed at about 1:30 that night
sunday- Every two weeks work on sunday is pretty fun. It's me, berman(dave), and mindy. For whatever reason, our odd mix of people is an actually fun day. I've known berman for five years and mindy and I have a friendly work relationship. It just seems like the three of us work very well together. Anyways, I studied so much on sunday night for stats, comm, and edthp.
yesterday- I woke up and was prepared. In stats, I though the final was kinda easy, but it's never as easy as it seems. I ended up getting a 35, which exactly puts me at an A-. I kinda felt for mark, because he gave everything on that test. No worries dude. I'd like to say to him, in the least gay way possible, that he has more than surprised me since the semester started. Our academic levels are more or less the same, and I really didn't give him credit where credit was obviously due earlier in the semester. For that, I sincerely apologize. The comm final was ridiculously hard. I mean, I knew that he would be gey and ask questions about the smallest details in LOTR. Our group final was no easier. The questions were so debatable as to what the correct answer was. In between the two, the crew met for dinner for the last time. As I once said to my old friends from high school, all good things must come to an end. Or, as the Chinese proverb goes, "Every new beginning comes from another new beginning's end." Genius, absolutely genius. Actually, that reminded me, and I put on that Semisonic song, Closing Time. That song makes me think of graduation all the time. A bittersweet memory to say the least. Back to real time, we took the edthp final and I got a 94% which basically locked up my A in that class. If I calculated everything correctly, I'll have a 3.50 exactly. This is all dependent upon whether I do well on my psych final though. We shall see.
today- I woke up and began studying for psychology. I had neglected it throughout the weekend because of bigger problems and I had some catching up to do. Thank god I have a little bit of volition left in the tank. I went down to practice and realized something. I realized that there is a wall between old school and new school baldwin. For as long as I was there, a level of respect was maintained for older people. If I went to a meeting of all the former captains, we would be able to laugh and tell stories of past adventures. However, I think that five years from now, the captain, whoever he is, will not be able to say that. It's sad, really. I feel alienated from the people I'm supposed to be coaching. The younger kids want to try to act cool because they think they're the shit. The younger girls are improving rapidly, but a lot of them are kind of weird. I've tried talking to them and it just doesn't pan out. Even the older girls like bethanne, maura, and lauren, I feel like I don't even relate to them anymore. Maybe I'm being awakened or moving on with my life or something, but it just doesn't seem like I can have a conversation with any of them like we used to have. The senior guys are the only ones I can relate to. They're the last class that was from the old school. I hope you guys win the section, WPIAL, and state, so that I can say that I went out a loser. I will not be returning next year unless I have a significant change of mind. It would be a lonely, lonely place there. I would have nobody to talk to, and it would be kind of like wasting my time. Everything these days brings me back to pink floyd's "wish you were here", but this especially. Ivana left work early so it was only dave, larry, and myself to tend the fort. It went very smoothly. Later, I went to wendys with my bro, and that was the first time that I ate there in a long time. After that, I talked to anna. I'm beginning to realize just how much I really love her. I know this may sound homo, emo, or whatever other terms you're using these days. I never really talked about how I felt about her in this blog because it's public, but I really don't care anymore. She's beautiful, smart, easy to talk to, a good listener, and we definitely have whatever it is that makes two people connect. So that's that. I love you a lot. Finally, I studied for psych a little more, and wrote this blog post.

I know this has been long and I sound like reverend jackson when I start preaching, but I'll leave you with one more thing. I wrote this about a dream I had. It was a weird dream, and the poem might get you a little confused, so there's a proper warning

The Long Road
By: Matt Hartman

I have seen the long road
In visions and dreams before
It gives me a silent glimpse
Of what the future has in store

And there I was at my old beginnings
Where every road begins
The snow began to fall lightly
Without cause or sin

And further and further I went
Descending into the night
And closer and closer I got
To the white, celestial light

As I progressed much further
There was little I could see
The reason that I began on this road
Was becoming clear to me

And suddenly it occurred to me,
To my conscious half awake,
I began to realize the undeniable truth
Yet there must be a mistake

I cried out to whomever above
And a message he did send,
This long road which each of us walks
Has a beginning, yet no end